For The Solitary Mama

 

I tend to get very introspective as my birthday approaches, and this year has been no different. This time last year, I was on bedrest, five months pregnant with my twins. I had been experiencing unexplained hemorrhaging every few weeks and bouncing in and out of the hospital, I had become a regular fixture in labor and delivery. By the time I delivered my boys, I had seen every one of the doctors in my Ob's office. It was a real team effort to keep these boys in as long as I did. As I reflect on this experience and almost every day since I've had my twins, I encounter situations on a regular basis that I would not otherwise put myself in.

 

I tend to be more of a solitary soul; Having one child, I was easily able to remain that way. We lived in a sleepy little German village and exchanged niceties with our neighbors, but I didn't ever have to have a conversation I wasn't interested in having. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying this to complain, but more to shine a light on the unintended, yet positive consequences of having multiples. Everywhere you go someone will want to talk to you. Zero exceptions. Someone will have questions, and someone else will be there to commiserate as a twin parent who survived the baby stage, someone else will tell you about their Great Aunt Louisa, who was a twin. People will ask if they are boys or girls, "maternal twins," and then identical once you say no, they're fraternal. There are times for me that all this attention is difficult. Many times I just want to run my errands or go for a walk with my boys and not add fourth minutes to our trip. I was compulsively nice at first when the boys were very tiny, but now I find that one human being can only take hearing "look out double trouble!" Ten times in one day, beyond that you develop a twitch and a bad attitude. There is no shortage of memes that depict this phenomenon, I don't know what it is about having two (or more) babies that captivate people, or give them the motivation to give out unsolicited advice.

 

If you're more on the quiet, introverted side and you're expecting twins, prepare to become a social butterfly. Having to get out of my comfort zone is good for my kids honestly, I have met a lot of really great people because of my very social four-year-old. We have shared great conversations on trails, made friends on playgrounds and honestly the metamorphosis I've experienced just becoming the mother of three little boys is special. I am glad that I've been shoved out of my shell and forced to interact with so many different people. So, hang in there solitary mama, you can handle the very social twin mom journey. Booze were created specifically for the days when you feel like you can't take one more ridiculous question. 

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